50/50 parenting time is not a given; in most families, there is one parent who is the Parent of Primary- the one who manages the schedule, makes sure there is food and clothes that fit, arranges or provides the transportation, makes sure the forms are handed in, and handles homework assistance or review. A parenting time schedule needs to acknowledge this reality and a 50/50 schedule only works when it is in the Best Interest of the Child. You, as the client, need to help your attorney show why and how it can work in your case.
Do’s and Don’ts for Requesting 50/50 Parenting Time:
1. Don’t ask for 50/50 custody without being able to articulate a specific and detailed parenting time plan that works with everyone’s schedules and (e.g., week-on/week off OR 2-2-3 OR 3-4/4-3). Include any accommodation you can make to have it work consistently for the children. Be realistic with your specific work schedules. If 50/50 can’t work, it is not a comment on you as a parent, so be realistic about it.
2. Don’t mention child support when discussing parenting time. Resist the temptation to accuse the other parent of denying you time to increase child support: That argument does not work.
3. Do all the work. Take them places, do fun things with them but also do what they want or need to do. It’s parenting time, so you need to do all the things a parent needs to do, not just the fun stuff.
4. Do not cancel or be late to your parenting time. Make it work, figure it out. That’s what a primary parent does. Make your parenting time an obvious priority to your family and in your work life.
5. Do NOT trash-talk the other parent in court documents, in mediation, at court hearings, or in front of your children. Highlight your specific attributes as a parent, the work you do, and the unique bond you have with your children.
6. Go to all of the kids’ the activities and events, even the ones you didn’t choose.
7. Make contact with coaches, teachers, and friends directly so they become accustomed to your active parenting.
8. Be patient. Things move slowly in family court. If you are in this for the long term, you need to
prove your commitment, not demand your entitlement.
Family law can be complicated and we are here to help. Don’t do it alone. With years of local
experience, we offer realistic advice and a compassionate team. Be sure to start this process on the right foot— with the counsel of an experienced attorney. Please feel free to reach out to us at 908.237.3098 or use this contact form.
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